Archive for September 27th, 2011

September 27, 2011

Uncharted

A couple of nights ago, I was having a really hard time. A perfect storm of work and personal funk hit, and I just could not pull myself together. Do you ever feel that way? It just happens sometimes. There’s usually not all that much to it either; it could be a misunderstanding with someone, exhaustion from a couple nights of poor sleep, too much on your plate, or a plethora of other little things that under just the right circumstance…totally sets you off. That was my night.

There was a moment in my night where I chose to succumb to my funk, cancel my plans with the Bean and ourĀ  friends, put on my jammies, and find the jar of Nutella and a spoon. In that moment, I chose to choose tomorrow to be a big girl, a spectacular sweetheart, a good friend, and a mom who follows through with promises. Tomorrow would be easier. I could handle it all…tomorrow.

At that moment, a song popped into my head. I went to my computer and pulled it up.

Isn’t she freaking awesome?

The lyrics I pulled from the song at that moment were:

“Though I may be going down, I’m taking flame over burning out. Compare where you are, to where you want to be and you’ll get…nowhere.”

For whatever reason, I knew I needed to choose to be the girl I wanted to be, right now. Not tomorrow. I didn’t want to be, “stuck under this ceiling I’ve made”.

It’s back to that whole idea of the difference between pain and injury. In running, and in life, there is a big difference between the two. The other night, I was in pain. I was in no way injured. I did not need rest, or self pity, for an injury. I needed action and choice of attitude. I found myself incredibly humbled (and blessed) in the midst of it, because I was not the only person who chose to not wait until tomorrow. That’s the thing about choice of attitude. It’s contagious. Whether I caught it, or gave it, the choice was to deal with the pain and run through it, to live, to laugh, to choose…right now.

I changed out of my jammies, had a great time out with the Bean and our friends, and an incredible night with the Sweetheart.

I want to reach what I am capable of today, today. While everything else may be uncharted, I am always capable to choose my attitude, to live with positivity, and to share that with others.

What can you choose to do, today, that you’ve been putting off?