Time to Stop

I’m a worrier by nature. Over the last two years I’ve gotten a lot better at choosing not to worry…at least about things that are out of my control. In letting a lot of out-of-my-control worry go, I’ve found two things almost constantly on my mind.

Now, as a disclaimer, these two things could be seen as a lack of confidence issue, but I assure you they are not. The two worries that I find on my mind are two things that are completely in my control, but things I have chosen not to control. One is directly related to the other, and both will have an impact on my 2013 Goals. The worry factors are my weight, and my fitness goals.

Backing up a bit: In March, I had a routine physical where my Doc delivered some news that at the time, I found ridiculous.

  1. My blood pressure was abnormally high.
  2. My BMI, (which is standard Western Medicine’s typical indicator of a healthy weight) indicated that I was overweight.

I all but laughed at the Doc when he asked me if I would consider “adding some physical activity my lifestyle, and also eating healthier.” Sure Doc, as soon as I’m done training for the half marathon I have coming up in 2 months, I’ll make sure to add some physical activity to my life. Seriously? Who did he think he was? Healthy eating?! Hello, does he know who he’s talking to?!

Now, jumping to November. I’m again in the middle of half-marathon training, and have continued to eat as I have been for the last 2 years. I ended up going to in see another doctor for a general checkup. I instantly loved the mother of 2, and triathelete. In reviewing my chart she asked, very matter-of-factly, “Jamie, how is it possible that you’ve gone through 2 half-marathon training cycles, and continue to hold onto 20 extra lbs? What is it that you’re eating every day?” Gasp. Huh?!

I could not deny her questions. She ran some tests to make sure my system was healthy and working properly, and called me a few days later. “Jamie, I have good news and bad news. The good news is that you’re perfectly healthy. The bad news is that you’re perfectly healthy. You’re going to have to accept that you’re going to have to make some changes in your diet if you want to get back to a healthy weight, and if you want your fitness to improve. Imagine putting on a 20Lb backpack on your 5’2″ frame before your runs…and then ask yourself why you’re not seeing much of a fitness improvement.”

So, as usual, I spent the next month worrying. I didn’t make any changes. I didn’t see any changes. I worried more.

Then one day, sitting next to Melody, my yoga instructor, I decided to stop. After a good conversation with her, I decided that for 1 week, I would completely stop worrying. I would not think about food, or working out. I would do exactly what I wanted to do, and end the week with a three day cleanse. Here’s what I learned:

  • Feeling like garbage sucks. For the entire week, I felt sluggish, tired, sick to my stomach, and cranky.
  • I love working out, and missed it!
  • However, I need to branch out. Marathon training plans have taken their toll on me. I am going to take a break from training as a runner, and work on changing up my routine, and adding more strength training, and getting fit as an athlete not just as a distance runner.

I finished up the week with a cleanse, which I know is questionable, but when Melody recommends something…I do not ask questions. Today, coming off the cleanse, I feel amazing. I honestly feel totally fresh and ready to start making the changes that I have obviously needed to for months…and months.

I’m committed to not using “healthy eating”, and being active as excuses for eating whatever I feel good about putting in my mouth. The cleanse showed me how much of my time I spend eating for the wrong reasons. I am used to eating not only when I am hungry, but when I’m bored, whenever the Sweetheart eats, when I’m upset, and whenever someone offers me something.

I’m committed to taking 20Lbs off my very small frame through a program I just started, and want to give a month before writing more about it. I’m also decreasing running to once or twice per week, and adding more weight training, cardio boot camp, and swimming to my routine in hopes of training all parts of my body so I can step back into running in the Spring strong and fit.

Above all though, I’ve committed to stop worrying about my weight and fitness goals…and am going to exchange the worry for action.

It’s not easy to know that at almost 30 and as a mom, I can no longer eat whatever I want, and that change is not easy. What makes it easier is to know that I am not alone, but that millions of awesome women struggle with the same things every day, and just as many make changes happen every day. Are you one of those women?

What are your struggles? What changes do you want to make, or have you made?

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